The Rotten Little Swine.

Three Rubber Door Mats in pieces, all over the garden.  I don’t care about The Mats, only about the pieces that The Rotten Little Swine might have ingested.  And I seriously cannot afford another Vet’s Bill for 460 Euros.  It took me bloody ages to pick up the bits while O’Connor thought that this was another game, and ran off with whatever he could grab.

Something has gone wrong here.  I have inadvertently turned his wrecking into a game.  So now I am back to my fail safe.  If he pukes up, starve him for 24 hours and then feed him soggy bread.

It worked on Romulus who once consumed eight plastic covered Bird Balls.  Rom threw up the lot.  Although it wasn’t much fun counting the plastic covers in amongst the vomit.  Don’t ask me how it works because I don’t know.

Rom’s foray into Rat Poison was a bit more difficult.  He got into a cupboard.  I don’t actually leave Rat Poison lying around.   That cost me 99 Euros, but he did survive, Vitamin E injections not withstanding.  And it was a long time ago, in so far as the cost was concerned.  The Rat Poison is on the top shelf these days.  And No, I don’t have a lot of Rats.  The Cat takes care of those.

So I suppose that O’Connor isn’t alone in this.

O’Connor is now an even longer streak of Pelican Shit, with a Snake Head and beautiful Snake Eyes.  He is fully grown now with lovely markings.  The only Short Haired Dachshund from the entire litter.  So there’s a throw back.

My garden is like a cratered Luna Landscape.  The Septique Tank is already half dug up, should Brussels decide to give me a really hard time over their Directives.  And all is well in The Land of Nod, to where I retire when I don’t want to know.

O’Connor hasn’t found any Badgers yet.  Only one very small Hedgehog, which is no doubt perfectly capable of defending itself.


2 Responses to “The Rotten Little Swine.”

  1. Elizabeth Says:

    You need to put your rubber doormats on the top shelf too!

  2. elenamitchell Says:

    Along with every other movable thingy.

    I bet O’Conner will be at the Garden Chairs next. And then The Garden Table. The Table might take him a minute or ten.

    He truly is a horror story.

    I don’t know what I have done. But no one else in their right mind would have him.

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