Wine.

I do not like Wine and never drink it, unless I am desperate and there is nothing else in the house.  Fortunately, this doesn’t happen very often.  This coming from a long term inhabitant of the country that is the font of all wine is little short of Blasphemy.  I never voice this opinion in public as I might get lynched.

But have you ever stopped to consider the people who purport to be experts on the subject?  They take a sip, swill it around in their mouths a bit and then spit it out into a bucket.  This does not surprise me in the least.  Best place for it.  But don’t put it on The Roses.  It will probably kill them.

Being a bit ignorant on the subject I once bought a bottle of Chateau Neuf du Pap from a discount store. I had actually heard of that one.  But I got the noughts on Francs mixed up so I got a bit of a shock when I discovered at the check out that it was £17 instead of the expected £1.70, especially as I was seriously broke at the time, although common sense should have told me otherwise, despite it being a discount store.  I lived on French Beans on Toast for the rest of the month.

Anyway, I was far too embarrassed to make a fuss and change my mind so I paid up and took it home, resolving to keep it for a special occasion.  That happened one dark night when I needed a lift and opened it because there wasn’t anything else.  It was disgusting.  Corked?  How would I know?  But it did have a proper cork.  Not many of those these days.  Perhaps because if it doesn’t have a cork then it can’t get corked. Did I finish the bottle?  I can’t remember.  Which leads me to suspect that I did.

Needless to say that I won’t be buying any more Chateau Neuf du Pap in a hurry.
These days I drink Kirsche which is someone’s weird idea of Sherry and it tastes alright with a lot of fruit juice and water.  Although I still prefer Sherry.

Put recycled Tea on Roses.  My Roses are wonderful.

4 Responses to “Wine.”

  1. Elizabeth Says:

    Oh, loved this post! Very funny. Very clever. Thank you!

  2. elenamitchell Says:

    it’s a minefield, Liz. And when offered wine at a neighbour’s house, NEVER ask for water with it. It’s a massive insult. Better to leave it on the table undrunk than that.

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