Archive for November, 2021

Him Again.

November 26, 2021

I sat on what is left the Sofa and had a chat with O’Connor tonight. It was really good, I thought. He tried to lick my face, but I wasn’t having that, so we agreed that he wouldn’t do this. At least I think he did, although I am not absolutely sure about this.

I told him that I love him to bits, but then I am not entirely sure about that either. But then I had by then spent too much time on The Forum.

Fortunately by then I had run out of alcohol so I didn’t actually fall down my dreadful stairs. This was a mercy for me.

O’Connor is now burrowed under his chewed up old blanket and I chucked a log or three into the wood burner.

Tomorrow will be another day.

Right. To Write.

November 25, 2021

About Tomorrow. Food Bank Day. The highlight of my week. How pathetic is that?

Around one hundred and fifty bulbs planted in the last two weeks which saw a bill of in accesses of 60 Euros. Was I daft or what? But I hadn’t bought a single Crocus in many a long year, so they were getting a bit sparse.

I have a passion for the Blue and White streaky ones, so I was feeling a bit deprive. But this coming Spring will give me back my glory. And then for a while yet.

What on earth am I talking about? Who cares?

And then to The Chrysanthemums. Seed Pods that I didn’t even know they had. I can be a bit thick sometimes. I begin to suspect that I am not really a gardener. Beyond machinery like Stimmers and Lawn Mowers. And making gardens behave themselves.

Such a pity it doesn’t work with O’Connor. I now have a massive crater in the middle of my now horrible lawn. The biggest hole he has ever dug. And then I laughed when he came indoors and peed on the floor. Definitely not something quite right going on around here.

But he can’t dig up the pots or even pee on them. Game, set and match to me.

No Title.

November 18, 2021

I am not feeling good at the moment. But Full Moon coming up again so I expect to feel better next week. Jesus, do me a favour.

I have eviscerated every frightfully expensive pot in the garden, smashed every inch of soil into submission and now I am going to plant hundreds of bulbs.

Unfortunately I don’t know what most of them are. It doesn’t actually say on the Packet. You think you bought Crocuses. You could be wrong.

My friend Kate ordered them for me. But she was up the road a bit and doing this menagerie thing at the time so who knows.

She was looking after all sorts. Hundreds of Ducks, no really.. And some chickens, but I only got off on The Cockerels. Bloody beautiful they are. Really splendid.

The Ducks were bit of a problem since they are all the same colour so who the fuck knows who was responsible for that. Quite possibly all of them.

Six dogs. But I only want to talk about the House Dogs . One very fat Pug. One Pale Grey Yorkshire Terrier. Really nice. And one Jack Russel. All smashing. And all really nice. Too nice for comfort. I haven’t held a Pug for a while, but she felt so much the the same as Charlotte.

Oh and a Goat. Probably a Male because he stinks, but then male goats always do.

But my Piece de Resistance was this one glorious Black, Shinney Bantom Cock. Strutting around in the middle of this melee. He knows who he is and you could never miss that one.

Altogether a thoroughly lovely experience.

I shall have to deal with the Bulbs as they grow. But all flowers are good.

The middle of November now so only about twelve weeks before the start of Spring. Isn’t that nice. I am so very fortunate.

O’Conner Again.

November 9, 2021

At what time to feed the wretched Dog? It is dark now and can he tell the difference?

I think about it because I don’t want him to feel hungry, silly old me. But I am just the food provider, much as it grieves me to accept this. My dogs have always been my dogs, until this little shit.

But now he is besotted with Robin Dominic who never feeds him. Hear the car, go ape shit. Don’t try any other old Renault. O’Connor can tell the difference. He races from one door to another and then back again like a maniac.

There are at least three other Renaults around here, as there would be, but no chance of fooling O’Connor. Mind you, Robin Dominic pretends that he doesn’t care. But he is lying of course.

However, Robin Dominic is not a dog person, I know that. Possibly too many dogs when he was young and I treated them all like recalcitrant puppies and they all behaved. There are worse ways to bring up horrible children and horrible dogs. They are all the same in the end. And I had dogs before I had them.

I personally am incapable of living without a dog. I tried it once for six months and it was awful. I won’t be doing that again.

I doubt that O’Connor will out live me. But I would have another ghastly Dachshund in a heart beat. O’Connor is the sweetest dog that I have ever owned.

Quince Jelly.

November 9, 2021


I have cracked it now, although it did take a while. How to turn horrible hard green pear shaped things into a glorious coral coloured jelly.

I personally never eat it. Much too sweet for me. But I’ve got a bit of the pulp in the freezer for Stuffing come Christmas. Google.

Basically you just have to a bit more than simmer it but not actually boil it, otherwise it will all finish up plastered all over the cooker when it explodes. So you have to watch it for every second. This is the really boring bit.

I don’t have a thermometer which means that I have to guess.

It takes about five Quinces for just one jar. But oh the glory when it comes to good.

What is a Quince? The Owl and The Pussy Cat and Runcible Spoons. I have no idea about Runcible Spoons either.

I only do this for fun and because I can.

Electric Sockets

November 4, 2021

France doesn’t have the same system as Angleterre. Every socket has to come direct from The Box, consequently no one has enough sockets because it’s too much like hard work and costs too much. So everyone buys those extension bars into which you can plug another six appliances. This involves bars and wires all over the place instead of all up the walls. Although I haven’t tripped over one yet. The French don’t do Ring Mains for some reason. I don’t know why.

I am watching The Madame Blanc Mysteries at the moment and they even had one in The Chateau. That made me laugh. Was it deliberate or was it for real? Quite possibly it was for real. Why should The Chateau be excluded? And did anyone else notice?

Six appliances to each socket, basically, but not all in use at the same time. Could it cause a problem if they are? Well, my switch has been known to trip and then I have to turn something off to use something else. But I can cope with that. And of course if the fridge and the freezers aren’t’ actually fridging or freezing at the time then it won’t happen.

I must tell Robin Dominic about this because he wouldn’t know what was going on and might call an electrician who would have a fit and possibly inform EDF. And we don’t want that.

Don’t ask how I worked it out. I can’t remember. Probably plain Logic. I’ve got a lot of that.

Hallo, Hallo.

November 2, 2021

Just been given my two 10 Euro Vouchers in leu of The Dinner for The Aged, which won’t be happening again this year. I mean is this for real?

How many communities do you all know that want to cook Dinner for The Aged and then give everyone 20 Euros when they can’t? This place is something else.

I bought a Leg of Lamb last year from the local Butcher, but nice though it was it was expensive. These vouchers have to be spent within the Local Community.

So this year I am going to spend it in The Local Shop. Melrand needs its Local Shop when we all inevitably run out of something or another. And can’t be asked to drive to the nearest SuperMarche. Asked, I said. Arsed was a bit funny for a while but not so much any more.

And I am now busy saving enough money for a new back door on my other house next door. In my world the pennies take care of the pounds.

The leaves and the rain will no longer be able to blow in and at least I will get to look at it as I go into my garden several times a day, not least to clean up the dog shit.

No one stands on the road outside their own front doors to look at the doors. That is a pleasure for someone else. Presuming that anyone is interested.

There have been so many innovations over the years with Plastic of some kind or another which I wasn’t having, so it took me a while. Yes it did cost more. But my new doors at least look as though they have always been there.

This is such an old house but somehow it still looks the same.

Indoors is still a wreck and ever might remain so. But it houses my conglomeration of only half decent antique furniture which I acquired for nothing much at all. Mostly abandoned in sheds and barns. How sad is that?