Okay.  I should not have read The Blurb.  But I did.  Too late now.  So I was a bit forewarned, sort of.

However, I have recently discovered that all sorts of people that I have known for years and years, all own Dachshunds.   They never talk about this.   It’s a big secret.  Mayhap it’s some Club that you can only join once you are foolish enough to acquire one for some inexplicable reason, like, I wanted a Pure Breed, and this one was going a bit cheap.  Or, no one else wanted him or her, so I rescued him or her.  How could you not?  They are so bloody sweet.  Gender has nothing to do with this, by the way.

But now I know why.   They all say that you can’t house train them.  Oh really.  I am not giving in that easily.  Am I a fool?

O’Connor has become used to being taken outside, and he does pee, so perhaps he doesn’t understand unless he is taken out.  He thinks, okay, they have put me in the garden so I have got to have a pee.  The rest of the time, fuck it.  What’s wrong with the floor?  I mean what is wrong with the floor?  It is tiled.  No carpets around here.  The incontinent Pug took care of that many moons ago.

Nope, I am not having Charlotte blamed for this.  In fact she pees in the house even less these days, so we have a win, win there.

I actually pointed his nose at his latest pee, told him off, and then put him out.  But of course, it was all a bit too late by then.  I know that.  He probably thinks I am crackers.

And how on earth I have managed a Blog on a randomly pissing Dachshund leaves my sanity in some doubt.  It can only be of some interest to other Dachshund owners.

Is there anyone out there who has crack this?  If so, please get in touch ASAP.



10 Responses to “Dachshunds.”

  1. Elizabeth Says:

    I find the internet exceedingly helpful. Exceedingly! Someone there will have the answer as to the best way to train a Dachshund. Keep us updated….

  2. elenamitchell Says:

    Google says that Dachshunds all pee in the house.

  3. The Jannie Says:

    I’ve only known two dachshunds, a long and a short hair and in peril of adding to your pain, they peed and crapped whenever and wherever they pleased. The house stank and when the second resident popped his clogs the 60 year old teak flooring had to be torn up and burned.

  4. Elizabeth Says:

    To uplift you, as a child I stayed with my aunt many times whilst my mother was traipsing around the world. They had several Daschunds. I don’t remember them peeing or crapping in the house. But I do remember they were very long and as kids we would lift them up under their arms to get them up on the sofa with us and they would shriek in pain. Aunt and Uncle taught us to lift them up with a hand under their bottoms to support them. They weren’t dirty dogs, the ones that I knew. They are only hard to train. Some folk in rainy areas (they hate rain) have an under cover pee area. And if you take them out and they pee and poo because you saw, they should be okay for quite awhile until you take them out again. Dogs can be hard work. I believe it’s training, training, training. The first command is “Sit”. And “wee wee now” while you are outside. And “good boy/girl” as soon as they do. Keep courage. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

  5. elenamitchell Says:

    Thank you, Jannie, for that. Fortunately I have a tiled floor. So not much chance of that. This why I can afford to be a bit laid back about this.
    My son thinks he is going to crack this, but I doubt it somewhat.
    What can you do with a sweet thing that has no idea of what you are saying,

  6. elenamitchell Says:

    Yes, Elizabeth. You do have to be a bit careful of how you lift them, but come on, Just don’t pee on me. And they aren’t as fragile as might be supposed. Just get the little barstard out into the garden. Although even that can be a waste of time. They then come back into the house and pee again.

    They shouldn’t be allowed to jump, you know. It’s bad for their backs. Oh really. Mine is a Steeple Chaser. He can jump three feet over the garden rubbish when he is chasing the cat..

    This is the best long streak of Pelican Shit you are ever likely to see. No, I have no idea of what Pelican Shit shit looks like, but I promise you that this is what he is. Short of your average Pelican, of course.

  7. Elizabeth Says:

    I can hear you love him!

  8. The Jannie Says:

    “My son thinks he is going to crack this, but I doubt it somewhat.
    What can you do with a sweet thing that has no idea of what you are saying,”
    Yes, sons can be like that!

  9. elenamitchell Says:

    Well, this is the Piece de Resistance. I just took what’s his name out into the garden for a pee, and then fell over. Nothing whatsoever to do with too many Bloody Mary’s. I am not good on my feet these days, especially in the dark. I have no idea if the rotten little shit actually peed. He shot back into the house and left me lying there in the dark.
    I, as ever got back up. I always do.

    Mean while my son, who thinks he is God’s Gift, told me off, and I told him to go away, although not quite so politely.

    All in all quite a good Christmas Day. I have talked to a few people that I like. Yes, of course I love the rotten little shit. That is the problem.

    Please God for a peaceful night.

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